Gig report: Dragons, cloven feet and Lord Flasheart

We had a good gig on Saturday, a jolly audience including a lot of folk I’d never seen before. I was exhausted when I first tuned up to the venue. I’d been working all day, lugging stuff to Tottenham and back. The cats I’d been hallucinating in the corners, turned in to dragons, small dragons, but very fierce, perhaps they helped me find enough energy.

Dagma was excellent doing the door, even though she can’t count British coins, she is from Austria and was only visiting for that weekend. Marina came along later and helped selling merchandise, which was good as I completely forgot about that after the gig.

The swamp monster artworks went at the start, to those who knew her name is Gertrude. There is just 5 of them in existence so those who have them make sure you take care of them!

Folk tell me that the performance was very sinister, very “Birthday Party”, and someone thought my feet were cloven, which perhaps they were that evening. At the very start of the performance the buxom Gardyloo Spew was giving me attitude so I had to slap her around the face and blow raspberries at her. Jowe was his usual sinister self, doing a most convincing impersonation of a Golem. Dr Cos held things together triumphantly, with added panache, as only he can, whilst the Drummer, dressed in just clingfilm and gaffa tape, told the audience off, gave me a bottle of red wine, then attempted to roll me over his back whilst I was singing, which made the dragons roar around the edges of my vision. An interesting experience that should be tried again.

Oh and the audience were fabulous at Woofing! Such sexy hip jolting and pelvis thrusting! I’m sure Lord Flasheart would be proud.

The other two acts, David Cronenberg’s wife and Dirty Viv, were splendid. Viv looked beautiful in his wig and incredibly skimpy pvc skirt and the music made me think perhaps drum machines aren’t so hideous after all. Tom from David Cronenberg’s Wife was smartly dressed in a red and black suit and the band played with exquisite vigour. I’m a bit of a fan of Tom’s dark storytelling with guitar, which is difficult to hear when done as a full band, but the band’s punch and excitement made up for it.

We also had DJing from Enri and sillyBoyblue. I love dancing to Bowie!

I had several curious propositions after performing that night, to which I can only reply “what does your girlfriend/wife/mum/bank manager think about that?”

And Lord Flashheart has read my blog and wants to apply for the job of perfect lover.


Next performance this coming Friday (29th March) at Scaledown, upstairs at the King & Queen, Fitzrovia, near Goodge st tube, London. Just me and Dr Chapman doing an acoustic set.

Photo by the wonderful Michael Antony Hyman.

2 thoughts on “Gig report: Dragons, cloven feet and Lord Flasheart”

  1. A really good night of three great bands and a right old party afterwards. A pity to leave x

    (Please be careful around that book I gave you? It contains rude descriptions and may offend a Lady).

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